Limericks

There once were two men from Limerick
One named Tom and the other named Mick
They took us on tour
And they were never a bore
But our trip ended way too quick

On the bus with Tiny we sat
Frank and Tom would have a fun chat
It was called Tiny’s Tours
Cruising Ireland’s shores
Tiny thanks for the awesome hat.

Our touring group went to Killarny
The next day we’re off to old Blarney
Some folks kissed the stone
While others ate scones
And the men drank like the Simpson's, Barney

There once was a woman named Kris
Who is a fine Polish miss
In her cute little bag
There’s a book she did flag
And oh! How we are thankful for this

All my Euros, Dollars, and cent are spent
We do not know where it all went
Jewelry for my ear
The price is so clear
With shopping they all have been spent

There was a young boy named Ron
His turtle he gave to his mom
He rode on a bike
The Cliffs he did hike
To Ireland they will have gone

There once was a man named O’Brian
He had a heart as big as a lion
He was known for his crack
Not the one on his back
His theme was to not stop trying

Black and white puddings, eggs and beans
Passing the valley’s and fields of green
With dots on the sheep
And Matty fast asleep
In ten days most of Ireland was seen.

We traveled the roads of Erin
One of our stops was the Burren
We climbed on the rocks
And drank at Red Fox
And at the Woodlands we turned in

From Dublin City to the Giants Causeway
With stops in Donegal, Knock, and Galway
Cong, Burrens, and the Cliffs
The Ring and Killarney not missed
And Kinsale, the Rock, we did it our way

There once was a girl from old Derry
Who moved down to Blarney to marry
She kissed the old stone
And took a boy home
With all the germs she could carry

Because birds can’t fly on one wing
At Red Fox we found a sure thing
With James and or Bailey
We drank almost daily
So now we have more than one wing

There once was a man named Jack
For energy he did not lack
We went across the pond
For this we are so fond
Hey Tiny! When will we come back?

There’s a man in Killarny named Mick
Who pledged his love to Beck
He called her Ducky Duck
But he was out of luck
With Michael in the States she will stick

We traveled the land of Eire
With a driver who wasn’t for hire
With a crack in the windshield
While traveling through the field
Frank made him want to retire

There once was a lass pale and purty
Who dreaded the day she’d turn thirty
But she needn’t grump
‘Bout her birthday slump
In Ireland all ages are flirty!

“Sound of Music” did drift in the air
On the road from Killarney to Clare
Please Julie, please stop!
Once more and we’ll pop!
Oh, thank Jesus, we’re back in Adare

For eight days Tom, he drove our bus
But one day big Mick was with us
With these guys at the wheel
We could certainly feel
Much safer than if it was one of us

Whilst tooling around Galway Bay
And touring West Ireland all day
The Burrens on the tour
And the dark Cliffs of Moher
As the bus goes a-bumping away

A large rowdy group from New York
Did travel from Dublin to Cork
They drove all around
Through city and town
Spending Euros on Guinness and Port

In fair Galway City, one day
A pedicab stopped by the Quay
Some men, three in all
Bob, Tiny, and Paul
Scared that frail Irish Colleen away

While listening to “The Sound of Music”
I thought that some list’ners would get sick
Of hearing the tunes
That Ms. Andrews croons
In that old classic, well, ‘chick flick’

In Ireland I wanted to go shop
But prices they just made my eyes pop
So tanked has the dollar
Desire I did swaller
To buy crystal, a sweater, or a harp

While touring the Emerald Isle
I noticed that many a smile
On faces would creep
Despite lack of sleep
I hoe that they linger awhile

A transportation engineer named Tom
Drove our bus as we relaxed nice and calm
From coast to coast
He was our host
In the hood he’d be named ‘The Bomb’

The wheels on the bus go round and round
With Frank on the bus we had stereo sound
Robbie can sing
The girls got a ring
Sadly tomorrow we’re homeward bound

Winners!

Most Poignant
You should give up cause its over
There is too much weight on your shoulders
You should quit if you can
Cause you’re not a strong man
Better off finding a clover

Most Humorous
It happened at Becky’s Hen Party
None of the girls were tardy
We all bought our glasses
And sat on our Asses
And we drank our Bailey’s hearty

Most Humorous
The Driver was an old fogey
He stepped out to have a stogie
Frank said without tact
“Hey your windshield is cracked”
It must have been hit by a bogey

Most Humorous
Some went on a Jaunty Cart tour
Despite what Tom said it did pour
We got soaking wet
And you better bet
We’d take his advice nevermore

Encapsulates the Trip
In Ireland we traveled each field
The coach not once had to yield
We ate some great food
And discovered new sights
Even with a crack in the shield!

Most Bus Related
Thomas was driving the bus
But Frank was concerned about us
“The windscreen is cracked!”
“Good God I know that”
“Sit down and stop making a fuss!”

Best Overall
There once was a tour guide named Tiny
His smile was as big as his hiney
He had a big bus
For all forty-nine of us
And the weather was mostly shiny

Booby Prize
Beaman Campell Filippone Swider Britton
Goetze Hogan Ross Ivacic Toughy Gleeson
Howard Quigley Slawek Kato
Redden Ryan Kovacs Basso
Salazar Schneider Bruno Zlotkowski Swanson

From Kris and Jack to all

O Ireland we may never be back
Without you our lives may be black
We’ve made some new friends
Our tour is at end
Thanks to all from Kris and ‘Tiny’ Jack